Dear you,

it have been a long year with you. For some reason I can't forget you. You are the person who destroyed the world yet I was strong enough to build my own space back. On your side however, it is still falling apart. I can't forgive you so easily but I don't want to become like you. You hold so many grudges inside you that I'm surprised that you haven't gone insane. Or maybe you have.
          I feel your eyes on me. I feel the burn yet I don't dare to give in. I'll let you play your little game until you realize that I'm bored and tired of your tricks. I began to ignore you a long time ago. Let's face it. Things will never be like before. It's sad. I used to look at you as a friend, we used to be so good together. It wasn't the boy who broke us apart. It was you.
           Congratulations, you're the second person on my hate list. The list is for the people I hate all over. It's not the way they talk or the way they look at me. Those are ordinary annoying people I see every day. On the list, I hate their souls and personalities. I hate that they exist. They always tell me that hate is a strong word. I reply, "then that means I really hate them". Luckily, there's only 2 people on that list. The first person is slowly being forgotten. I think I even forgive him a little. The incident happened so long ago, I feel old just looking back to it. But you're a new addition. And it have been a while since I had this feeling. You have awaken this dangerous attitude inside me. People may think I'm harmless, but this dragon inside me was responsible for a few injuries on those who got in my way. Physical injuries. Maybe emotional.
            Look at me, revealing things I never thought you would hear from me. All I ask from you now is to leave me alone. I learned how this dragon can ruin everything I have and I'm not willing to let it happen again. I will be the stronger person this time. Violence used to solve things. The funny thing is, the older you get, the more poison you can insert into your own words. If wars were fought like this, only the leaders would get hurt. Leave me alone since it's better for both of us. After all, it happened one year ago. Why are you still feeling pain from this? Only you can help yourself move on. Good luck on your recovery and may we stay netural forever.

-Your ex-friend

Dear Darling,

             How are you, how are you feeling? Your last letter scared me. The only advice I can give you is how your world really works. You see, the mind is a mysterious thing darling, it can easily convince you anything. Yet at the last moment it denies everything leaving you stranded. And I know you hate being left hanging.

 The heart is a troubled thing, poor tragic thing. It can be easily swept by any feeling but it is too shy to show love when the world lack it. Your tongue will get tied and your heart will scream yet cheer at the idea of confessing a crush or two. Don’t trust everything on your mind and heart.

Your soul is so vast and made of different parts, it will take years to describe a small proportion of it. Never label yourself so simply. Even the word “unique” is not enough for us. You have so many sides of your soul. The common ones are the loving, the sad, the hateful, the evil, the good and the uninterested. These sides come to the surface at different times for different people you interact with. If you were to ask 100 people in your life to describe you, I bet you that there will be 5, 10 maybe even 20 different descriptions. Does that mean you’re confusing? Does that mean you’re dramatic and undecided? Not necessary.

You see, if your heart is pure, despite its shyness, and if your mind is smart despite its untrustworthiness and if your soul is alive, despite the vast sides that can contradict, people will learn to love you. You will develop true friendships and a few enemies on the side. Don’t worry, everyone has their enemies. If you trust them equally, you might find that your worse enemies become your best friends. And vice versa.

While we’re on that subject, I beg you to listen. Love is a precious and special thing but unfortunately our English language can be restricting. The English define love as the kind you find in marriage and dating. But there are love for companions, friends, family and possessions. Learn the difference and don’t go straight to the romantic love. Yes, it is possible to love friends with all your heart and not ever intending to kiss at the end of the day.

Reply back as soon as possible darling. I love listening to your quirky tales and drama! Give your mom a hug for me.

-Auntie

Dear To Whomever It May Concern,

Look, I created another blog! I think I finally figured it out! I made so many websites in the past but none of the stuck close to me. I just had this crazy idea to post my true feelings. I have done this in a small notebook so far, but now I feel like I want to be listened!  I have so many things I want to say to you...

I honestly feel a bit crappy now since I am sick on New Year's Day. My nose is stuffy and my throat is so dry but today, the symptoms are slowly going away. Since I wanted to start something new, I figure I should start a blog. Man, I wonder if people are actually going to read this.

 I get nervous when I think about but I don't care. Why should I get nervous for? I honestly find it funny when people get so scared. Spiders are harmless. Planes are the safest mode of transportation. The audience won't bite you during your speech. Sure I get scared too. But I can't remember what I'm scared of.

Rejection. But it only happened once in grade 7 when I confessed my crush. But turns out, the boy was just a jerk to me, I was so disappointed. He and his friends sometimes made fun of me and I just patiently wait to move on to high school. It was so bad considering the fact that my crush was a small distraction from a depression I suffered since the start of grade 7. What else I'm afraid of?

 Death. But only when I sit still and let my mind wander and question death for so long. Otherwise, I shrug it off.  It was the cause of my depression, but I'm happy to say it was over a long time ago. I look at it as something that changed me forever. I lost and developed new interests. I explored places in my mind I was too scared to think about. I question a lot and had a new view towards my faith which is still changing to this day.

 I'm not afraid of God as some people tell me to. Afraid of what? I view him as a father not as a principal or prime minister. I'm not afraid to get close to Him like I would to a human being. Talking to Him, respecting Him and simply acknowledging him. As a little kid and even now, I don't like mass. I always try to force myself to focus on the meaning and purpose. But it didn't feel right and frankly, I don't like the feeling I get from Churches. Beautiful but so empty to me. I feel so far away from Him when I see the holy bread, the stained glass windows and paintings on the walls. It feel too materialistic. I prefer praying to him alone and following the Ten Commandments. You could say I am a simple Catholic.

And while we're on the topic, I just want to vent my anger. Some people I met over the years are wrong. Christians and Catholics are SIMILAR not DIFFERENT. Christians are all people who follow Christianity. Catholic is a BRANCH of Christianity. There are Orthodox, Protestant, Catholic and so on. And even then, there are branches under those main divisions like Greek Orthodox or Roman Catholic. It's like saying a fast food restaurant and  McDonald's are completely separate and different. There, I said it.

I feel tired now so I think I'll finish this off with a happier note. Happy New Year and may you receive many blessings!

-MajorDreamer

Dear Reader,

You have finally found a way to read my mind. Congratulations, this blog will reveal things I rather not say in person but in physical words. This may include poems, lyrics, photos or letters to whomever it may concern.

But you might ask, "Who are you?" Well, I can assure you that is not important. If you are willing to stay and listen to me, that's the best gift anyone can give me. However, this is not your typical online journal. Here are some things to remember:

1) I will mention no names to keep everyone I love and hate safe. I will mention no names to keep my home from being disturbed. But that means I will reveal other kinds of details which I believe can be a fun challenge for me.

2) This blog may have posts that may be disturbing to certain readers. If you ever feel uncomfortable, you may stop reading. I will put a small warning at the beginning of those kinds of posts. But if you choose to read on, you cannot be mad at me when it get nasty. It is your own responsibility and I don't like people who can't think and decide on their own but rely on others heavily.

3) You know the rules and manners on the Internet. I ask that you keep your comments appropriate for everyone. I don't need to tell you what is acceptable for you are mature enough to think.

Thank you for reading and here's to a new beginning!

-MajorDreamer