...the blog was stuck in time. Many things have changed since then. Reading the (few) old posts made me feel wonder how it was possible to find myself thinking that way.
For one thing, I decided to give up on trying to be a Christian. It has been a life-long struggle of mine, and at one point in high school, I just decided to stop. Stop believing that it was right for me. I gave my Bible away to a Christian group at my university, I stopped praying at night, I stopped celebrating Christian holidays (Christmas was hard to avoid because it was becoming secular. I decided to focus on the secular celebrations and ignore the "real" meaning of Christmas. Which is funny because it's a pagan tradition that old Christians decided to nail Jesus's birthday on, so the image of "real" Christmas is not that simple.) and I turned away from whoever he is in the higher world.
I'm trying out other viewpoints and religions, including Deism and Buddhism (some argue it's more of a philosophy than religion, which I don't fully agree but it's not a bad thought either). Along my spiritual journey, I learned as much as I can about other religions and exposing myself to them more often. However, I have yet to find a label that truly fits how I see the world. I agree with Deism and Buddhism, but I also have extra viewpoints that I'm not sure that fit in a certain philosophy. I love the idea of Bahá'í Faith and Unitarian Universalists, but I can't see myself going back to organized religions anytime soon. What I love about Buddhism is that the teachings can be followed by anyone, even those devoted to other faiths. There is no great/creator god in Buddhism, and Buddha never claimed he was someone more special than a human being. I could go on a whole post about why I love it, but in my viewpoint, it's a religion but not too organized to scare me away. Weekly attendances to holy places, holy words that suppose to rule your life, preaching love but showing hate, and living in a limited way. No way, I don't need that kind of control in my life. Sure Buddhism has its own rituals and practices, but the causal atmosphere somehow takes off the pressure to be a "perfect" follower of a religion.
In my opinion, religion itself is amazing but the organized part ruins the image. The Catholic and Protestants argue over how to follow the Bible, the Sunni and Shia Muslims fight over who was the descendant of Muhammad (a fight that still exists today in the Middle Eastern world) and Jews just want a home land like everyone else yet get judged today for having one. If I look closely, I just see human desires for power and being the right one who knows everything. Desire to be accepted by dominating others. When you add humans to religion, it becomes ugly because that's what we are capable of. I also think that politics is a systematic body, where if the rules were followed by all, nothing bad should happen. But money, fame and other forms of greed get in the way. Politicians and homeless people alike break the laws, because we are imperfect humans. Imperfect humans that cheat and lie and does not have the capability to obey all the time.
Sometimes I wonder if a world of robots would be peaceful. When there are no selfish desires, would they follow all the rules all the time? Would murder even exist in their vocabulary or make sense to them?
There is a clear reason why religion and politics are two taboo topics to bring up at a social gathering. And I doubt that things will change for the better soon. One thing for sure, I'm not a Christian anymore like I was two years ago. I feel that my spirituality will be a lifelong journey, and if I do end up with a revelation, I would never share it with the world. I don't want people to fight in my name 2000 years from now. But having a holiday dedicated to me is not a terrible idea! (:
Till next time,
-MajorDreamer
